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And My Lawyer was Tied Up

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Floyd Bodie, private eye, is an idiot. I ought to know. I'm Bodie.

My Monday night started early and rough, and it wasn't getting any better. First my client, rich old Herman Kruger, gets wacked. My spare .38 Special was found in the same bedroom where his bucket got kicked. His trophy wife Lorraine had put the moves on me a couple days earlier, and that little meeting was giving the cops ideas. I found Lorraine getting ready to skip to Mexico, grabbed her and soon had her tied up in my office. She bats her eyes at me, gives me the wiggles, and swears she didn't whack old Kruger. I half believed her, but only half.

Kidnapping Lorraine was stupid. My next stupid idea was leaving her tied up while I went to get my car. When I get back, she's gone. Turns out I should've paid more attention to knot tying when I was a Boy Scout. I got the hell out.

I headed over to my lawyer's office. Hazel Mink is the best; I've lost count of all the times she's gotten my can out of the crusher. Fact she's one good-looking dame helps. She's noticed that I've noticed, but nothing doing. She's all business. I hear Hazel and Detective O'Donnell got something going on the sly; those reptiles were made for each other. 

Hazel was working late, just like I figured she would be. She practically lives there. One time I dropped by and she had her undies hanging up to dry on the fire escape. As usual, she was happy to see me.

"What the hell do you want, Bodie?" Hazel snarled. "O'Donnell just called! The police are looking for you!"

I couldn't help eying her. Her dark hair was tied up behind her head and her glasses gave her the horny librarian look. She dresses good, too; her outfits and heels get a lot of judges thinking her way, I'm sure. High up on the bench, their honors get a good look at her equipment.

"So you know about my little problem, baby?"

"I do. Get out."

"Baby, could be a big payday for you. All I got to do is find that Kruger lady again, and I bet I know where. I just need more time. And I'll share. You know I will."

Mentioning money did the trick. "I got a place at the old Yukon. I stash witnesses there. You can hide out," she says. "Did anyone see you come in here?"

"Only that old cleaning lady," I inform her. Hazel swore again; damn, where'd she get a vocabulary like that?

She stood and shook her head. "Sonabitch...she'll tell O'Donnell. Her calls her sweetheart and pays her. Look, if you're caught here or the cops think I know where you are, that's it."

"Any great legal ploys, Miss Mink?" I ask.

Bingo. She got an idea. Saw the lightbulb over her head. Swear to God. "I've got a couple hundred in my desk. Take it. Then tie me up. There's some clothesline in the closet. I'll tell them I tried to turn you in."

I didn't argue. Being found all tied up would cover her shapely ass. She sat down on the floor and I tied her up good; I learned my lesson with Lorraine.

"I've got a scarf in my purse," Hazel tells me as I finished tying her shapely gams. "You can gag me with that."

I found the scarf and got ready to gag her big beautiful mouth. "How much you wanting for this, Mink?"

"Half. I'm not getting tied up and gagged for chump change, Bodie. I might suddenly remember where you could have gone. Might remember telling you about the Yukon a while back."

"Half?" I swore. "You bitch..."

"O'Donnell's probably on his way, Bodie," Hazel reminds me. "Oh, set the telephone near me."

"You gonna call for help?" I asked.

"No, you big lug. I'm ordering some Chinese...Look, all the girls who get tied up in the movies try using the phone. Just want to see if I can do it."

I gagged Hazel--peace at last--set the phone near her and grabbed the cash. I had a lot of work to do.

She struggled a bit and fell over, and started wiggling to the phone. I wished her luck and got out.

by scorpionlover42,
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© 2017 - 2024 carmag34
Comments18
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ricky1972's avatar

Love the scene.